5 Reasons Divorced Women are Marrying Faster than Single Women
Divorced women are effortlessly finding Husband #2 while single women, with or without children, are having difficulty finding Husband #1. Once women hit the age of 30, the statistics become alarmingly worse. But why is that? What do divorced women have that makes their chances of matrimony greater? Here are the top five reasons why men are making a dash to the aisle faster with repeat offenders.
- Credibility: When a man sees a beautiful, intelligent woman over 30 who hasn’t jumped the broom yet, he thinks one thing, “What’s wrong with her?” If the same exact woman is divorced he thinks, “Man, that guy messed up.” Men want women who other men want. In their minds, they are thinking a single woman must have some flaw that keeps her on the shelf. When this woman has a kid, it just solidifies their thought process. A divorced woman has been a wife and a homemaker, a quality that gives her more credibility in being a good woman. Kind of like the difference in an American Express and a Russell Simmons Rush Card.
- Realistic Expectations: When we were 13, we wanted our dream man to be cute, have a great smile, and a cool bike. Back then, my dream man was O’Dog from Menace to Society (don’t judge me). At 21, my list became a little more fitting (but not too much better, I admit again). Now, after a divorce, the list is short and essential. Life teaches a divorced woman the real qualities that make a great husband. There is no better teacher than life experience. The cycle of dating, marriage, and divorce makes a woman wiser on choosing her mate. Categories such as swag, money, and looks don’t weigh so much on the scorecard. It seems a single woman has so much conversation on how to make a relationship work. They go as far as writing books, appearing on TV shows saying they can fix your life, and even going through the ridiculous act of marrying themselves. Therefore, the realistic profile needed to get a good husband is tarnished by the single women’s unrealistic ploys and beliefs about what they think they know about relationships.
- Setting Relationship Goals: When a divorced woman wishes to remarry, she lets her desires be known before the artichoke dip comes to the table. If her date doesn’t have the same relationship goals, she will not waste any more time past the appetizer. How many times have we heard those stories of a woman having to give an ultimatum to her man? Or the old school classic “I’m pregnant. What about our future?” conversation? The luxury of wasting time is just not present for divorced women. She sets her expectations at the gate. No time is spent learning how to “Date Like a Man, Act Like a Lady” or however the title goes. The divorced woman’s mission is clear. She’s sincere, upfront, honest, and open, not just with the man but also with herself.
- On the Job Training: Think about your first job. How nervous you were, unsure even. Now fast-forward two years. You were practically running the restaurant. You knew how to prepare the food, run the drive thru, and count down your register. You were a pro. You learned on the job. Trial and error on how to really support, encourage, love, and believe in a man goes a long way. Knowing how to respond to financial troubles, in-law disagreements, and conflict in general is sharpened by experience. Seeing and feeling the impact of her “on the job training” changes things for men. He’s less apprehensive, nervous, and cautious about employing her as his wife because she has marriage on her résumé.
- New Life: Divorce is like a death. There is something indescribable that occurs when you have to resurrect your life. To breathe new life into your own existence changes you. Divorced women have been through so many hills and valleys that drama will only be a pastime that they watch on TV. She can’t give her attention to things that don’t add value to her new life and new heart. She realizes she can only control herself. She finally understands that concept in its entirety. Her issues are her issues alone and not his to fix. Without actually having these experiences, it is hard for single women to understand. Being a wife can’t be learned because you watch Housewives of the Hood every week.
You can attempt to debate the concrete reasons about why they are what they are. But the results don’t change. Men ARE marrying divorced women drastically faster than single women. Men ARE choosing them knowing they have a blemish on their Marriage Report Card. There is something in the soup that makes that woman with the big D a better choice.
Is my analysis wrong? Am I far off base? Is there a sixth reason I am forgetting? Please share.
Photo by Johari Davis
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