There was once a time in the not too distant past when women had to act like ladies and be discreet and modest in terms of our sexuality. Today, women are much more vocal about our sexual dealings. In this liberated, “non judgmental” land, we women have become increasingly comfortable and free with our sexuality.
We have gained the indisputable right to choose motherhood or not regardless of the wishes of our male partners. No one can tell us what to do with our bodies. To some this is great, while others disagree and struggle with this newer way of existing as women.
In 2014, there are many forms of birth control available to us, including but not limited to, abstinence, condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, three year shots and more. With all that being said, sorry ladies, but prevention of unwanted pregnancies is 100% our responsibility (with the exception of rape, of course). Not 50%, not 75%, not 90% but 100% on us.
If you are surprised to read that, I am even more surprised that this is even something to be questioned. I have had many discussions with people saying things like, “it takes two to make a baby” etc., etc. While it may be true that a man and a woman are necessary for conception, women ultimately hold the power in this situation.
How can anyone take the feminist movement or the independent woman movement seriously if we are still blaming men for our unwanted pregnancies? If a father decides not to take care of his kids, he is considered a deadbeat dad, whether he wanted the children or not. If a woman decides she wants to abort her pregnancy, or give the baby up for adoption, she is woman, hear her roar? In my opinion, that is totally unfair.
Honestly, I think women have way more power than we are usually willing to give ourselves credit for. This role of victim that we so eagerly take on is getting really old. We have every right to refuse sex or employ any pregnancy prevention methods we deem necessary.
In this day and age, we can negotiate business contracts, run households by ourselves, Hell, even run for political offices which have historically only been held by men, yet we can’t take the responsibility of telling a man that he can’t have sex with us unless he wears a condom? How does that make any sense, and how can we be taken seriously as strong women if we act as if we share control over our bodies, the one thing that we truly have 100% control over?
Every adult of sound mind knows that sex can potentially lead to pregnancy. It is up to us as women to take control of that. In the 21st Century, we aren’t required to have to have sex, let alone unprotected sex. We cannot continue to relinquish the power that we have over our own bodies then turn around and want to be taken seriously in terms of other things regarding our power and freedom as women.
Let me be clear, it would be wise for a man who doesn’t want children to “wrap it up” every time he has sex but we all know that women are the ones who carry the baby and ultimately end up raising them whether the father is around or not. We cannot keep trying to make men equally responsible for what happens to our bodies. We are ultimately losing our power as women when we do so. Learn to say no or learn to say yes on your terms.
“It’s all about control and I’ve got lots of it.” –Janet Jackson, Control-
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