So you’re in a secret Facebook group with some really cool people from all across the country. Some know each other, but many have never actually met in person. You all are just like-minded people that the page administrator thought would be a good mix to make interesting conversation while you pass the day away during downtime.
At some point, you start to get a feeling for the various online personalities in the group. The Topic Master, who keeps the conversation going with interesting post; The One Line Artist, who keeps you laughing; the Laughers, who LOL at the drop of a joke no matter how lame; The Feminist; Mr. Thirsty; and The Drama Queen. Then there’s that one special, photogenic person who pops on and off posts just the right amount of times with just the right amount of flavor and edginess to peak your interest.
Over time, you find yourself agreeing with them more and more, and when you receive an email notification that they mentioned you, you can’t wait to log on and see what they said. Eventually, you become Facebook friends, and one evening, after one of you makes a salient point, the other sends an instant message to compliment said brilliant point. Then it’s on like popcorn.
As the weeks go by, the conversation amps up, and you finally agree to meet, only to find out that there’s a reason besides modesty that all her pictures were head shots, or you discover that his pictures haven’t been updated since he opened his MySpace account.
You reject him or her as gently as possible but despite your best efforts, you’ve made a Facebook enemy that you end up having to block after you’ve been made to endure the publication of your intimate inbox messages. And if you were foolish enough to send naughty pictures, you may as well delete your account and concentrate on Instagram.
So how could this be disaster have been avoided? Two words: due diligence. Use the tools available to you. Skype, iPhone, Facetime, etc. Ask about them from someone in the group who knows them. Look at the things they’re posting on their own pages that have more to do with their real lives. Crazy can’t hide forever if you look for it with an objective eye.
Now not all Facebook romances end in disaster. Some actually turn into legitimate romances, so get back in there and like, lol and IM to your heart’s content. But remember: Facebook is the place where people show you only what they want you to see.
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November 15, 2013 at 8:21 am
Great article, Gus! Here’s to 21st century dating!
November 15, 2013 at 10:44 pm
I loved this article!
November 19, 2013 at 12:26 pm
Pretty darn sharp guide! The advice about using other communication tools at your disposal is good for any budding online relationship—at some point, you HAVE to meet up in person to see if there really is a connection. Plenty of tech exists to help you achieve this goal.
November 28, 2013 at 2:30 am
Good lookin out