I’m at a grocery store, and I see Tim. Tim is the father of my daughter’s classmate. Tim is married. We stop. We talk about school, the kids, and the Lakers. We laugh. We say goodbye. I arrive at my car with a note stating, “Let’s meet privately…soon.” I smile.
I’m at a hotel lobby having a drink. I meet Matt. Married for 13 years, two daughters, and very handsome. We shared a drink, and I learned he was an accountant from Chicago here on business. After a half hour, he left. But before he did, he gave me his number on a napkin stating, “Let’s enjoy each other.” I smile.
Yes, I smiled. I smile because it is quite amusing.
Do we really live in a world where a woman cannot carry on a pleasant conversation with a married man without him thinking it’s an invitation into her pants? Is everything really just about sex?
Research shows that most married men carry on affairs when they become settled down with mortgage, kids, and retirement plans. Studies claim that many married men feel cheating helps their marriage by filling in the missing gaps whether it be sex, conversation, or emotional support. But I suppose it’s how these men are choosing their targets that causes the issue. Do any of them really take the time to think how the innocent woman may feel to be approached in such a sleazy manner?
Where does the responsibility lie? Does it lie with the married man who took a vow or someone else?
It is tiring to hear the same responses: “You shouldn’t have sat and talked with him,” or “You smiled too much.” Really? Again, I smile.
Married men need to be more accountable for their actions, behaviors, and interpretations. Start to see a woman as a human being. Seems too simple? How many times have you heard:
“SHE got pregnant.”
“SHE shouldn’t have dressed like that.”
“SHE knew he was married.”
When does it stop? When will people stop blaming the women who are not the ones who vowed to love, honor, and keep their pants zipped? Married men, here’s a bit of advice: Think with your top head and leave your notes in your pocket.
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November 11, 2013 at 9:53 am
We know men are wrong but what’s your excuse. Is your self-esteem so low that you resort to having a relationship with a married man. Is a single man hard to find?? I’m just saying…..
November 11, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Who is having a relationship with a married man? READ it again!!SMDH
December 1, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Helen…will you stoppit! I’m sick of the whole self esteem rant! The people who throw that out there first, are the ones who have their own issues. Self esteem is NOT the general go to. Sometimes a hit and run is just that. It’s not ALWAYS about holding hands. If a woman is single and interested, she can often give a damn about anything, but getting her groove on. Geez….wake up and read more books. Stay way from self help.
November 11, 2013 at 10:29 am
Alright, having read it I agree. In my opinion it is not the unmarried person’s responsibility to help the married person keep their word.
November 11, 2013 at 1:23 pm
So riddle me this. A man talks to his wife about how unhappy he is in a marriage and finds out that she is just as unhappy as he is. They are adults and their is no hatred or anger, but just a mutual agreement to stay together (for what ever reasons) temporarily and then go their separate ways. Does this change your thought process?
November 11, 2013 at 8:05 pm
NO!!! Get a divorce before you start venturing off into others worlds.
December 1, 2013 at 5:09 pm
It doesn’t change my train of thought, because marriage, legal and bound is still marriage. It simply means that another relationship starts four steps behind, because the man would still need to get out of the pending situation before having anything ‘real’ with another person and moving forward.
What do you do if you fall in love with this extra other person? Will they become just your concubine? Would the wife be just as fine with you bringing someone else home to meet your kids?
When your unhappy, get out… Staying is much more painful and a seriously waste of life.
Stuff to think about…
November 12, 2013 at 7:15 am
Eh. If you know he’s married, it’s your responsibility to walk away and not sleep with him. Not YOU personally, but anyone. Things just aren’t sacred anymore.