by Renita Austin

It’s been said, “All things are fair in love and war,” and I am of the opinion that just as the two entities being compared are opposites, so does two opposites apply in that the statement is both fact and fiction.

Fact because…

…in love and in war, one is likely to find themselves doing and saying things out of the norm, even out of character. In love and in war, we are often placed in the most precarious situations, faced with life or death decisions, and forced to fight for what we believe in our hearts to be right.

There have been times when I have found myself in love so deep that time stood still and seconds felt like days, days like weeks, weeks like years, and years like a lifetime. I am sure that any soldier stationed in any war zone in the world can relate. In love and in war, the passion within me has burned so high, hard, and hot that I have felt as if I would spontaneously combust or explode in emotion. Both have prompted me to throw all inhibitions to the wind, roll the dice, trust the person next to me with my life and livelihood, and look to the heavens for divine inspiration. I have suffered injury and trauma in love and in war, and each time I’ve returned to the playing and battlefield just as tenacious as before, most times a little stronger in spite of very visible scars.

I can recall that in love and in war, the enemy has not always been the one pointing the gun or charging towards me with raging eyes and howling battle cries, but has more times than I care to admit been someone from within my own camp…Benedict Arnold and Judas have sat at my table, laid in my bed, and cried on my shoulder.

Fiction because…

…it is virtually impossible to love – truly love – someone and intentionally be moved to cause them harm. How can I love you and simultaneously be motivated by spite, jealously, dishonesty, and insecurity to hurt you? If you love me, then why would you fight me tooth and nail on issues that would ultimately bring great joy, peace, happiness, and harmony to our individual and collective lives?

While I must be honest and say I have hurt those that I have loved, I can also say with the same level of honesty that I would never go to war against them. War is last resort of conflict resolution when all else fails, and I am a firm believer that love never fails…my father taught me that.

War is ongoing and has an eventual end…usually an unhappy one. Love is eternal and everlasting with a result of “happily ever after” every time. War is malicious and vengeful, violent and lacking compassion for the innocent victims, all things love lacks. Out of war are birthed sorrow, anger, fear, hatred, and intolerance, while love is the mother of patience, kindness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. Love conquerors and accomplishes all things and war destroys and brings division. War is for enemies, those who cannot be trusted and seek to devour our souls; love is for those whose existence resides in our hearts and who we seek to nurture and uplift. Deception reigns in war…the sneak attack leaves the unsuspecting victim fatally and mortally wounded. Truth and honor rule love…a person whose integrity you can trust can eventually win your heart.

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