We at Fresh Takes have discovered a new disorder we like to call RADD. Relationship Attention Deficit Disorder which may be a major inhibitor for anyone with a social media account or online dating account who is trying to find that special person. RADD is the inability to focus on any one person long enough to form a true connection due to the distractions of multiple suitors.
With Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and the whole slew of other social media outlets, we are forming more connections than any other time in history. With just a click, you can get a glimpse of someone’s life. Pictures, thoughts, likes and interests, political views and just about everything else in their lives. Hundreds of people’s lives on display, at your fingertips, 24/7/365. Recently I have been wondering, “What has this onslaught of cyber interaction done to the dating game?”
Once upon a time, your options for a mate seemed somewhat limited by where you work, what crowd you were surrounded by, your geographic location, etc. Nowadays, your options seem limitless! You are able to connect with people whom you would never interact with if it were not for the internet.
I believe that this has had a major impact on how people conduct themselves with the opposite sex. When one feels like they have more options, of course they will be more discerning-or so they think. The illusion of unlimited options may cause some people to pass up potentially awesome matches because they feel like they “can do better.”
Many people post pictures of themselves online regularly. A selfie when you feel you’re looking your best or maybe just showing off a new outfit or hairstyle. Many times, pictures online gain attention from your friends/followers. This attention is great, right? I mean, who doesn’t like compliments? We all know that “likes” and comments on pictures have the ability to bring a smile to one’s face. The fact that you can get daily positive recognition from the opposite sex, at a much higher degree than you would if you did not post pictures, statuses, etc. can possibly inflate the ego if you are not careful. I truly believe that this nonstop attention via the internet can make a solid 6 feel like a 10. There is nothing wrong with someone feeling confident about how they look, but this boost in confidence may have you setting your sights on mates that may not like your “type” in the physical world. Some people who hardly get any attention from the opposite sex in their day to day lives, get lots of it online. This cannot be good for either party on the dating scene.
On one hand, the ability to reach and connect with more people is great. Many people are in happy relationships and marriages because of the internet. Conversely, many people are getting caught up in the illusion that social media and online interaction paints, making it harder to choose a good mate. Sometimes when you are faced with too many options, you can end up making decisions that are based on the wrong things.
When on the internet…sorting through your sea of friend requests, likes, comments, inbox messages, and other attention…all from members of the opposite sex, be careful not to get caught up in the hype. Real life attention is much different from internet attention. If you have someone that you vibe with, hold on to them. Do not let the illusion that your options are unlimited be a handicap to you in the dating game.
Here are a few way to recognize if you have RADD:
Do you feel compelled to check your social media or dating site accounts while you are on the phone or on a date with someone?
Have you ever turned down a real date just to surf through your multiple messages?
Do you find yourself rapidly growing bored with someone after only two or three dates?
Do you find yourself quick to dismiss a suitor after the smallest transgression?
Have you failed to suspend your dating accounts even after agreeing to an exclusive relationship?
If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions you may be suffering from RADD and a break from social media may be in order.
There may be plenty of fish in the sea but don’t let the big one get away.
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